If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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