whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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