So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize