How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You don't make any sense
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