Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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