summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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