that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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