So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
But theres a keg here and me gusta
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Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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