She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
