thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
