That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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