Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
