i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he quoted the bible to break up with me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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