Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
