i just sent this text using only my big toe
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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