i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
