We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
