look no pants
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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