Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
