we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
