Jerry, you need to find god
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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