The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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