My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
PANTIES FOUND
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