i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
