Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The best revenge is premature balding
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
