She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i think my cat just said my name.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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