can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
