The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
