Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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