I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
