LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
