I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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