How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I touched a dick in church today
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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