I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
