Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
