You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
