We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
