I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
