When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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