u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
