it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
