like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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