i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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