oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
