I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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