Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
