lets start a swedish sibling band together
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize