i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
