EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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