worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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