am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
this hospital has no fireball
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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