If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
