are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
