sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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