dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
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You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
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I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
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