i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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