It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
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So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
cat food counts as protein by the way
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Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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