i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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