K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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