Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
