I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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