Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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