How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
