Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize